5 Years Later

If you haven't noticed yet, it's fall. Fall is a beautiful season, and the essence of the season is change. Our nation's leaders change. Students transition from vacation back to their busy, studying lives. People exchange their summer sandals for scarves and gloves. But the most noticeable change is in nature. Everyone raves about the brilliant colors of the leaves. The air is cool and crisp. Occasional rain makes everything smell clean.

Every year around this time, I am reminded of the changes that have taken place in my life. In particular, I remember the single most significant change- the one that took place five years ago today. Like the leaves on the trees, I may have appeared to be full of life and color. But in reality, I was dying. In fact, I was already dead. I trust that if you know me at all, then you know what change I am referring to. Five years ago I became a new creation, raised from spiritual deadness to vibrant new life in Christ Jesus.

Last year, I wrote a note on Facebook that told my story of redemption. The positive feedback I received regarding that post inspired me to start this blog. I would love to replicate the effects of that first note in this blog entry, but as a writer, I fear redundancy. So instead, let me take you on a little journey through my five years of being a Christ-follower. Hopefully you will praise God, as I do, when you hear of how God is continually making me new, even five years later.

I was just 15 years old when I first met Jesus. He certainly found me in a sorry condition, as I was looking for love and affirmation in all the wrong places. Fortunately, the Spirit of God living in me was really hacking away at the major sins in my life. So much so, in fact, that my family disbelieved it at first. "Your just going through a phase," they told me. After months and eventually years of steadiness in my character, I hope that they have found that it wasn't just a phase- that it was actually the miraculous grace of God in my life. I hope that they know the reason I am a better daughter and sister is only because of Jesus.

Jesus led me through some dark places that first year. Having to walk away from friendships and old habits was hard. At times I feared I was losing myself. But now I see that this was only the putting off the old so that I could put on the new. I also faced the criticism of some extended family members. It was all very confusing that some people could be so upset by a change in my life that I considered the best thing to ever happen to me!

It was also during this first year that God blessed me with a beautiful friend and sister in Christ. I have never had a more faithful friend, and I am blessed that we are still friends today. It has been an honor to grow up in the faith with her, and I only hope she knows how much her friendship and prayers mean to me.

My most vivid memories come from that first year, but the four that followed were certainly not without their share of blessings. It was during those years that I was baptized, went on my first missions trips, and shared my testimony with my entire church family (and a few strangers). There were times of spiritual growth and times of dry faith. Jesus brought me through events that were painful and even heart-breaking.

As a sophomore in high school, I suffered the cruel words of mean girls and gossipers. In my junior year, I entered a romantic relationship that I would ultimately have the difficult task of ending. By far the most difficult season of these years were the months surrounding the church split that presented me with my first crisis of the faith. It is difficult for me to share the extent to which these things affected me. What I can tell you is this: I've endured many tearful nights of crying out to my heavenly Father.

With all that said, I don't want to downplay the wonderful experiences and things I was learning those years. I learned about true kingdom service on mission trips. I learned how to defend my beliefs in youth group. I learned about the injustice of abortion. I learned about debate, politics and world history. I performed on stage, made sandwiches for pay, shared my faith, gave speeches, and so many other things. Sometimes I wonder how I fit it all in!

Which brings me to this past year. I've grown so much my first year in college. Pursuing my education at MBI, making new friends, and doing Christian ministry in the great city of Chicago have brought me so much joy! I've wrestled through tough theological issues (and continue to do so). I've said tearful goodbyes to wonderful roommates. I've struggled to be content in my singleness. I've worked through a hard and lonely summer. I've become a pro-life activist. And most significantly, I've come to really know what it means to love the person of Jesus. In short, I've learned and lived more than I thought was possible.

And here I am today. Five years later. A 20 year old woman who has been changed by Jesus, being made more like him every year. Looking back, I am grateful for how God has grown and matured me. Looking forward, I am joyful that I have nowhere else to go but further up and further in for love of my King!