When it doesn't Thrill like you Think it Will

There are days when everything I want seems within reach. There are days when I am satisfied that I have accomplished the major goals I have been striving toward. And then there are the days when I realize that achieving goals never really guarantees happiness. At this time a year ago, I was eagerly anticipating all the adventures I would be experiencing in a few months time. The thrill of traveling and doing ministry for a summer and the thrill of starting my new life in the city at the school of my dreams were the goals that I had been working toward all of Senior year, and in some sense, all of my life. Don't misunderstand, both of those experiences were incredibly thrilling. In fact, I don't know that I have ever been happier in my life than when I was in Guatemala or here at school. Going to new places and meeting new people satisfies that desire for adventure that God put in me. However, today I heard a tragic story from a woman that reminded me that having everything you want and doing everything the right way doesn't safeguard you from disaster.

Even if I have everything that I want, tragedy is always only a moment away. I don't say that to be pessimistic, but I say it to be realistic. Since everything I've worked for could be taken away in an instant, it makes me wonder how I would respond should tragedy ever strike (as it inevitably will- at least to some degree). "Are my successes the things that my happiness relies on?" "When I fail to accomplish a goal, does it devastate me?...Should it?" "What is the one thing, that if it were to be taken away, it would ruin me?" These are the questions that have haunted me since I started writing this blog a few days ago. I know what the answers to these questions ought to be, but if I am honest with myself, my answers are more than a little disappointing.

I've become pretty prideful in my accomplishments of the last year. I feel happy when I see that I have done a lot of "admirable" things. I graduated with honors- as I wanted to. I served overseas- as I wanted to. I'm attending a well-known college in a well-known city- as I wanted to. These accomplishments make me happy, and I can't help but postulate: what if I hadn't accomplished these things?Would failure have devastated me? If suddenly today I were unable to attend MBI, would I be ruined? I can't say for sure what my reactions would have been, but I realize how superficial happiness is when it is completely relative to a person's success in life. Success can't bring real happiness. Sure, it can make you feel good about yourself, but there is a lot it can't do. Success can't ward off tragedy or misfortune or death. Success can't make people love you. Success can't make God love you. In light of all these reflections, I'd like to explain the one thing that can satisfy in a way that success never will.

Even if every tragedy imaginable came my way, Jesus would not desert me. His love for me does not depend on my successes or failures. He never fails to satisfy. When I pursue Him, I find Him. When I cry out to Him, He hears me and comforts me. If you don't know what it is like to really know Jesus, then all of that will sound like a lot of abstract gibberish. But it is one thing to say the things I've said (as many have), and it is an entirely different thing to really experience a relationship with the King of heaven. Don't miss this! A relationship with Jesus will never fail to satisfy.

Humans look for all sorts of things to satisfy their hearts' desires. We are constantly on the search for the next big thrill, yet we are unendingly disappointed. Nothing ever thrills quite like you think it will. Success, money, romance, you name it. They each promise a thrill that they cannot deliver. Sometimes this blog serves me as a means of self-discovery. By writing, I unearth the issues that are really at work in my heart. Today, the Holy Spirit has convicted me of my misplaced source of satisfaction. And once again I re-learn that only my King will satisfy, and my only appropriate response to Him is worship. "My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods; with singing lips my mouth will praise you" (Psalm 63:5).