As my days back home for the summer are drawing to a close, I'm suddenly faced with situations that have forced me to consider who I really have faith in. Looking back on this summer, I see goals left unaccomplished. I have a dozen or so reasons I could rattle off to explain why I didn't see those goals through, but if I'm honest with myself, I know better. I didn't accomplish some of my goals for purely selfish reasons, and I didn't seek the Lord first with those goals. Do you know what that means for me? It means I failed. Do you know what failure does? It hurts my pride. I'm embarrassed when I think about all the good I could have done for the kingdom of God while home this summer but failed to do so for selfish reasons. But what is even more embarrassing is the fact that I acted as though I could accomplish those things without the help of the God I was trying to honor. I forgot the most basic of lessons a young Christian like me learns- that I can do nothing of my own strength. I need the strength and power of God to accomplish great things for His glory, but if I do not ask, I will not receive (John 16:24). Failures may be painful for my pride, but when that pain becomes humility before God, I find that it is true that His power is made perfect when I am weak.
Though I have experienced some failures this summer, I would not say all is lost. On the contrary, I learned that true service can be accomplished when I find strength in my King. Perhaps you read about my observations on the Justice Ride, but you didn't read about how that week was for me emotionally. Every morning before our group would go to the public squares to do outreach, I was wracked with fear. I'm not even exaggerating there. I honestly wanted to double over and retch one morning. But every morning, I would pray for the strength of God to overcome my fear. And every day my prayer was answered. I even experienced the joy promised in the verse I cited above. "Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive,and your joy will be complete" (John 16:24).
So I've actually learned a lot this summer about how to respond to setbacks, failures, and fears. But tonight, my heart is heavy with some of these same problems.
I am returning to school this fall with a mission: start a pro-life activism student group. Planning was going great for awhile, and I was excited about working hard on something I am really passionate about. But when I found that there would almost certainly be opposition to the proposed group, my faith faltered. "Oh. I guess this isn't going to happen then," I thought for a few moments. Fortunately, it was truly only a few moments before I realized the next step I needed to take: prayer. I poured out my heart before God about the situation and entrusted it to His care. And now I am more ready than before to honor and obey God through this "controversial" endeavor!
And now for the final and yet most prominent concern on my mind tonight. I am very afraid about the surgery I am having on my back tomorrow morning. I'm worried about complications in surgery. I'm worried about recovery. I'm worried about returning to school so soon after my surgery. I admit it! I'm really scared! However, I am choosing right now to give those fears over to the One who tells me "Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand" (Isaiah 41:10).
I trust that no matter what happens tomorrow, my God will strengthen and help me. After all, my King has never failed me yet.
Thursday, August 9, 2012
Saturday, July 14, 2012
The War with Victims Ignored
This week I traveled for five days through five major cities of the midwest with a group of young activists. The pro-life organization, Created Equal, coordinated this trip and called it a Justice Ride. Named after the Freedom Rides of the Civil Rights movement, our tour sought to expose the injustice of abortion to a country that prides itself in its rights to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Sadly, this very nation has denied an entire generation of its right to life. More than 50 million people have been killed, and yet very few have ever seen the victims. The Justice Riders set up signs in public squares displaying the graphic nature of abortion and sought to engage passersby in conversations about the topic. I learned so much through the Justice Ride, and more posts will likely come about what I've learned. But for the sake of space and the desire to be concise, I'll limit my discussion in this post to what I've learned about the different reactions people have at the sight of aborted children.
Anger. Some people are filled with rage at the sight of the graphic nature of abortion. Some express their anger by attacking pro-lifers with hateful words. Some knock down signs. Others make offensive gestures. It is impossible to know for sure the reason for their anger, but it is possible to make a guess.
My best guess is that they feel guilt. Whether these angry people have participated in an abortion or not, I believe that a certain natural feeling is triggered at the sight of extreme injustice. This natural feeling is guilt. Pictures of dismembered children would make anyone feel angry. If you saw a picture on the news of a dismembered toddler, you would probably become angry. You would say something like, "Who could do something so cruel to such an innocent child?!" It seems reasonable to conclude then that the reason why someone would get angry at pictures of aborted children is because they know the answer to that question. Who could do something so cruel to such an innocent unborn child? Our nation. The people of this country have allowed this barbaric practice to go on behind closed doors for almost forty years. We as a nation like to believe that we are for freedom and equality and justice, but when its inhabitants are confronted with pictures that seem to suggest the opposite, they are forced to recognize their guilt.
You may wonder why I didn't label this section "guilt", but I did this for a reason. While I believe that guilt is the root the anger grows from, I am sure that the woman who screamed at me that I was a stupid girl was not aware that she was doing so out of guilt. Unfortunately, our generation has become skilled at suppressing feelings of guilt. It is much more pleasant to believe that you are a generally good person than to admit that you have serious flaws. It is easier to persuade yourself that you were right for hurting another person because of the circumstances rather than apologize for the pain you've caused. Similarly, the people of our nation have suppressed their guilt for almost forty years. We are guilty of the blood of innocent children, and we don't like it at all.
Sadness. This appropriate response is one that occurred less often than I would have hoped. However, when it did occur, I dove right in to start a conversation. It is easier to talk rationally with a person that still has even a fragment of his or her conscience in working order. Moral sensitivity is key to preserving the life of the preborn baby. If the sight of a dead child doesn't move you to sadness, think about what that says about the condition of your heart.
Apathy. This response is the worst of them all, and it was the most popular response of the day. Some consciences have been so dulled that the pictures didn't even move them to anger. Many people walked past our displays without even a glance. Far more worse off are those who mock the death of innocents. When I asked one young man what his thoughts were on the photos, he retorted with a grin, "I think they are hilarious." It is tempting to believe that such a person is too far gone in moral decline. After all, if one is able to laugh at the sight of a dead child, what else could that person be capable of? However, it is in moments like those that I am reminded that only my King can lift the dark veil that covers the eyes of such people. But if they are unwilling to be changed, the veil will only become heavier and darker with time. As a Christian woman, I was especially convicted this week to pray that the souls shrouded in darkness would come into the light.
It is quite possible that I have missed some of the other reactions, but I won't worry myself with that. The only thing I worry about is the person who reads this post and responds in apathy. There is no response more tragic.
While I learned a great deal about how to speak with people who think differently than me and how to remain calm in moments of fear or intimidation, I learned most about the nature of the times we live in. And what I've discovered has only filled me with more zeal for the movement I have just become a part of. In a time when apathy and anger are the fuel for the war being waged on unborn children, I know that I must take my position in the ranks that defend the weak and the fatherless. I will not stop fighting until justice is restored in our nation. A King is leading this battle, and His servants must follow Him to attain the victory.
Anger. Some people are filled with rage at the sight of the graphic nature of abortion. Some express their anger by attacking pro-lifers with hateful words. Some knock down signs. Others make offensive gestures. It is impossible to know for sure the reason for their anger, but it is possible to make a guess.
My best guess is that they feel guilt. Whether these angry people have participated in an abortion or not, I believe that a certain natural feeling is triggered at the sight of extreme injustice. This natural feeling is guilt. Pictures of dismembered children would make anyone feel angry. If you saw a picture on the news of a dismembered toddler, you would probably become angry. You would say something like, "Who could do something so cruel to such an innocent child?!" It seems reasonable to conclude then that the reason why someone would get angry at pictures of aborted children is because they know the answer to that question. Who could do something so cruel to such an innocent unborn child? Our nation. The people of this country have allowed this barbaric practice to go on behind closed doors for almost forty years. We as a nation like to believe that we are for freedom and equality and justice, but when its inhabitants are confronted with pictures that seem to suggest the opposite, they are forced to recognize their guilt.
You may wonder why I didn't label this section "guilt", but I did this for a reason. While I believe that guilt is the root the anger grows from, I am sure that the woman who screamed at me that I was a stupid girl was not aware that she was doing so out of guilt. Unfortunately, our generation has become skilled at suppressing feelings of guilt. It is much more pleasant to believe that you are a generally good person than to admit that you have serious flaws. It is easier to persuade yourself that you were right for hurting another person because of the circumstances rather than apologize for the pain you've caused. Similarly, the people of our nation have suppressed their guilt for almost forty years. We are guilty of the blood of innocent children, and we don't like it at all.
Sadness. This appropriate response is one that occurred less often than I would have hoped. However, when it did occur, I dove right in to start a conversation. It is easier to talk rationally with a person that still has even a fragment of his or her conscience in working order. Moral sensitivity is key to preserving the life of the preborn baby. If the sight of a dead child doesn't move you to sadness, think about what that says about the condition of your heart.
Apathy. This response is the worst of them all, and it was the most popular response of the day. Some consciences have been so dulled that the pictures didn't even move them to anger. Many people walked past our displays without even a glance. Far more worse off are those who mock the death of innocents. When I asked one young man what his thoughts were on the photos, he retorted with a grin, "I think they are hilarious." It is tempting to believe that such a person is too far gone in moral decline. After all, if one is able to laugh at the sight of a dead child, what else could that person be capable of? However, it is in moments like those that I am reminded that only my King can lift the dark veil that covers the eyes of such people. But if they are unwilling to be changed, the veil will only become heavier and darker with time. As a Christian woman, I was especially convicted this week to pray that the souls shrouded in darkness would come into the light.
It is quite possible that I have missed some of the other reactions, but I won't worry myself with that. The only thing I worry about is the person who reads this post and responds in apathy. There is no response more tragic.
While I learned a great deal about how to speak with people who think differently than me and how to remain calm in moments of fear or intimidation, I learned most about the nature of the times we live in. And what I've discovered has only filled me with more zeal for the movement I have just become a part of. In a time when apathy and anger are the fuel for the war being waged on unborn children, I know that I must take my position in the ranks that defend the weak and the fatherless. I will not stop fighting until justice is restored in our nation. A King is leading this battle, and His servants must follow Him to attain the victory.
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
You can have all this world...
How many hymns, sermons, and Bible versus does it take to remind Andrea that this world will never satisfy her? Apparently a lot, because after recently hearing the hymn "Give Me Jesus" I find myself taken aback yet again. Accompanied by beautiful piano and violin, the hymn is three verses with a short refrain in between each one. Each verse describes specific times a person experiences in life, and the refrain always begs for the one thing that is needed most at each of those times. The lyrics of the song are simple but worth sharing.
"In the morning when I rise, give me Jesus." (verse 1)
"When I am alone, give me Jesus." (verse 2)
"When I come to die, give me Jesus." (verse 3)
"Give me Jesus! You can have all this world, but give me Jesus." (refrain)
Here is the link for the song, so please check it out if you haven't heard it yet!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9rZ8k9m2hwo
Now when I first heard this song, I was moved by the beautiful scene the song describes: a man asking for Jesus at common yet often desperate times. Mornings, times of loneliness, and the hour of death are common to all people. Yet they are the times when men and women find themselves most vulnerable to feelings of despair. Have you ever woken up in the morning only to vehemently wish to go back to sleep because you don't think you have the strength to get through the day? I have. Have you ever been alone with your thoughts only to find that you are not the man or woman you had hoped you would be? I have. Do you ever fear death? I'll admit, sometimes I do.
I've just described my first reaction to the song. I have had three reactions total, and I'd like to share all three with you. So my first reaction was that I truly related to the song. The second was a less pleasant reaction: shame.
When was the last time I woke up and wanted more of Jesus? Thinking back to times of loneliness, the first person I call on is usually a friend, not Jesus. And when I fear death, I am obviously in a period of doubt (however brief) since my faith in Jesus should cast out all fear of death. Ugh. Just when I was beginning to like this song, I realized that the only time I can listen to it without feeling guilty is when I am the perfectly spiritual person that I know I will never be.
And then this morning, when I was reading from C.S. Lewis's Mere Christianity, I learned (not for the first time I'm sure) that Christian love is unique. For the Christian, love is not merely having feelings of affection for a person, or for God for that matter. C.S. Lewis explains it this way:
"Nobody can always have devout feelings: and even if we could, feelings are not what God principally cares about. Christian Love, either towards God or towards man, is an affair of the will."
Woohoo! The song takes on new meaning for the third time. There was more nuance to the words, "Give me Jesus," than I had thought originally. The plea could be rephrased, "Give me Jesus, the only one who can comfort me in this moment." Comfort is a feeling, and Jesus does bring comfort to desperate souls. But wait! There's more. The very fact that the songwriter asks for the comfort of Jesus reveals that he is in need of it. Why ask for Jesus in times of loneliness if despair will never strike you? Why ask for Him in the morning if He is naturally the first thing you desire?
I don't have to feel ashamed because I can't muster up feelings of love for Jesus in the morning when I wake up. Feelings come and go, but loving God is a choice. It is an act of the will. That is why when I ask God for more Jesus, He will never deny my request.
Infinitely purer than my love for Jesus is His love for me. That is why I can declare with the hymn writer,
You can have all this world, but give me Jesus!
"In the morning when I rise, give me Jesus." (verse 1)
"When I am alone, give me Jesus." (verse 2)
"When I come to die, give me Jesus." (verse 3)
"Give me Jesus! You can have all this world, but give me Jesus." (refrain)
Here is the link for the song, so please check it out if you haven't heard it yet!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9rZ8k9m2hwo
Now when I first heard this song, I was moved by the beautiful scene the song describes: a man asking for Jesus at common yet often desperate times. Mornings, times of loneliness, and the hour of death are common to all people. Yet they are the times when men and women find themselves most vulnerable to feelings of despair. Have you ever woken up in the morning only to vehemently wish to go back to sleep because you don't think you have the strength to get through the day? I have. Have you ever been alone with your thoughts only to find that you are not the man or woman you had hoped you would be? I have. Do you ever fear death? I'll admit, sometimes I do.
I've just described my first reaction to the song. I have had three reactions total, and I'd like to share all three with you. So my first reaction was that I truly related to the song. The second was a less pleasant reaction: shame.
When was the last time I woke up and wanted more of Jesus? Thinking back to times of loneliness, the first person I call on is usually a friend, not Jesus. And when I fear death, I am obviously in a period of doubt (however brief) since my faith in Jesus should cast out all fear of death. Ugh. Just when I was beginning to like this song, I realized that the only time I can listen to it without feeling guilty is when I am the perfectly spiritual person that I know I will never be.
And then this morning, when I was reading from C.S. Lewis's Mere Christianity, I learned (not for the first time I'm sure) that Christian love is unique. For the Christian, love is not merely having feelings of affection for a person, or for God for that matter. C.S. Lewis explains it this way:
"Nobody can always have devout feelings: and even if we could, feelings are not what God principally cares about. Christian Love, either towards God or towards man, is an affair of the will."
Woohoo! The song takes on new meaning for the third time. There was more nuance to the words, "Give me Jesus," than I had thought originally. The plea could be rephrased, "Give me Jesus, the only one who can comfort me in this moment." Comfort is a feeling, and Jesus does bring comfort to desperate souls. But wait! There's more. The very fact that the songwriter asks for the comfort of Jesus reveals that he is in need of it. Why ask for Jesus in times of loneliness if despair will never strike you? Why ask for Him in the morning if He is naturally the first thing you desire?
I don't have to feel ashamed because I can't muster up feelings of love for Jesus in the morning when I wake up. Feelings come and go, but loving God is a choice. It is an act of the will. That is why when I ask God for more Jesus, He will never deny my request.
Infinitely purer than my love for Jesus is His love for me. That is why I can declare with the hymn writer,
You can have all this world, but give me Jesus!
Thursday, May 31, 2012
Honestly, this is harder than I thought.
In my first entry I promised to be honest in these posts. And I'm about to give you an honest truth. I haven't been writing much lately because I'm in a bad mood. I'm not an artist in the typical sense, but I like to think of writing as a work of art. I prefer my "artwork" to be uplifting, and lately I haven't had much uplifting things to say. I don't know whether that is because the transition back home for the summer has been difficult or because I have not been casting my cares at the feet of Jesus (its probably a combination of the two), but I can't seem to shake this feeling of being weighed down. I'm going to vent for a bit and then probably hit the backspace button A LOT, but here is why I haven't been in the best mood lately.
I'm single, and I know it. I don't really need everyone and their mother reminding me. As if its not hard enough just wanting to be in a relationship. Yes, my standards are pretty dang high. I know that. I'm more than okay with that. But it would be nice if people would be more encouraging and less underhandedly reminding me that I'm not in a relationship.
I'm not being heard. What started out as gentle reasoning has turned into all-out shouting matches. Is it really my fault that I'm losing patience with each passing day? Are my threats really empty? Do I mean it when I say I won't come back? Are my tears selfish? Is there really no solution? I don't know whether to resolve or keep fighting.
I feel lonely. Those words feel foreign even to write. I haven't often felt lonely in my life. And the reason why I feel lonely isn't even because there aren't people around who care about me. I feel lonely because all I can see is three more months of being home or at work in the morning and at work at night. Being at home isn't exactly restful and neither is work obviously. I knew that this summer was going to be one mainly for saving money to go back to school. But it is turing out to be harder than I thought.
Not very uplifting right? I guess thats just the way it is sometimes. And as I write all this, I remember a meeting I had just before leaving school. A very godly woman reminded me to cast everything at the feet of my King this summer. And to be honest, I haven't done that at all. So here is the reality to remember when you read any of my entries: I don't ever really have it all together. Especially right now. I'm trying to carry a weight that I can't carry, and I know what I have to do. I know that Jesus will carry this burdened feeling for me. I haven't surrendered that yet, but I know better. My King will lift me back up. The only question is when.
I'm single, and I know it. I don't really need everyone and their mother reminding me. As if its not hard enough just wanting to be in a relationship. Yes, my standards are pretty dang high. I know that. I'm more than okay with that. But it would be nice if people would be more encouraging and less underhandedly reminding me that I'm not in a relationship.
I'm not being heard. What started out as gentle reasoning has turned into all-out shouting matches. Is it really my fault that I'm losing patience with each passing day? Are my threats really empty? Do I mean it when I say I won't come back? Are my tears selfish? Is there really no solution? I don't know whether to resolve or keep fighting.
I feel lonely. Those words feel foreign even to write. I haven't often felt lonely in my life. And the reason why I feel lonely isn't even because there aren't people around who care about me. I feel lonely because all I can see is three more months of being home or at work in the morning and at work at night. Being at home isn't exactly restful and neither is work obviously. I knew that this summer was going to be one mainly for saving money to go back to school. But it is turing out to be harder than I thought.
Not very uplifting right? I guess thats just the way it is sometimes. And as I write all this, I remember a meeting I had just before leaving school. A very godly woman reminded me to cast everything at the feet of my King this summer. And to be honest, I haven't done that at all. So here is the reality to remember when you read any of my entries: I don't ever really have it all together. Especially right now. I'm trying to carry a weight that I can't carry, and I know what I have to do. I know that Jesus will carry this burdened feeling for me. I haven't surrendered that yet, but I know better. My King will lift me back up. The only question is when.
Friday, May 4, 2012
A Better Country
For as long as I can remember, I have always wanted to break free from the ordinary and be my own person. For years when I was a child, I wanted nothing more than to live in New York City one day. I imagined that life would be more thrilling there. Everything about the city seemed glamorous and idyllic. It seems almost odd now, but even back then I longed for independence. As I grew up, the dream changed but the principle behind the dream stayed the same. New York was no longer the only place I could see myself. I felt drawn to places like China, Romania, South America, even New Mexico! As you have probably deduced already, these places have virtually nothing in common. The one thing they do have in common is that they are utterly different than anything I've ever known. Why is it that I have always wanted to go places that are so unfamiliar to a small-town girl like me? I'd like to explore that question in this blog.
How do you explain the unquenchable desire of a little girl to go to unknown places where she can be free and independent? It is reasonable to say that she dreamed of a life better than the one she knew. Please don't misunderstand that statement. I was not and am not an escapist. My desire for going elsewhere was never motivated by the need to escape a harsh reality. Rather, I believe my desire was motivated by a sense of adventure. Surely there were more adventures to be had in NYC than in Celina, right? But now another question remains; where did this desire for adventure come from? Not everyone wants to live in unfamiliar territory. Most people would take stability over adventure if it were offered to them. I have often wondered why I am so different from the rest of my family in this way. That is not to say my family doesn't have dreams. They do, but mine have always been so much different from theirs. It seems legitimate to ask where these dreams came from. Most children get their dreams from their parents, but my parents would tell you in an instant that they didn't plant those outrageous dreams in my head. Rather, it is like the dreams were there from the beginning. They were woven into my very being from before I was even born.
When I was fifteen, I embarked on a new adventure that literally changed my life. I am currently on that very same adventure, and it has taken me places I never expected to go. This adventure has taken me to slums in Haiti, hospitals in Guatemala, the inner-city of Chicago, and many other places as well. And while the adventure has taken me to some amazing places, the destinations aren't really what the adventure is all about. Instead, this adventure is mostly about the journey, and the only destination I really care about is the final one. I'll now stop speaking so cryptically and explain this grand adventure I've been on for the last four years.
I am following in the footsteps of the only wise King. It is truly a grand adventure to take Jesus at His word and actually do what He asks. The path of following Jesus gets rocky at times, but that just adds to the adventure. No matter how scary the task or how impassible the road may seem, my King has always made a way for me. He has been faithful even when I have been faithless. He has proven His love for me again and again.
And all the while, my thirst for adventure has remained. The different stops I have made on my journey walking with Christ have all been quite thrilling, but the final stop on my ticket is a better country than any I have visited thus far. I am looking forward to something better than this earth. That is why I am willing to go anywhere the Lord takes me- even if it's dangerous. God created me from birth to go and do great things for Him. He knew about this grand adventure even before I did.
So if you ever think I'm crazy for wanting to go to unwelcoming places with an unwelcome message, then just remember that I'm not doing it for myself. If I were going into Christian Missions for the sake of my own comfort and happiness, I would probably return to my home whenever the going got rough. But because I am longing for a better country, I will not let hardship or fear or discomfort keep me from spreading the fame of my King. Speaking about the saints of old, the author of Hebrews makes a point more eloquently than I:
"If they had been thinking of the country they had left, they would have had opportunity to return. Instead, they were longing for a better country—a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them" (Hebrews 11:15-17).
How do you explain the unquenchable desire of a little girl to go to unknown places where she can be free and independent? It is reasonable to say that she dreamed of a life better than the one she knew. Please don't misunderstand that statement. I was not and am not an escapist. My desire for going elsewhere was never motivated by the need to escape a harsh reality. Rather, I believe my desire was motivated by a sense of adventure. Surely there were more adventures to be had in NYC than in Celina, right? But now another question remains; where did this desire for adventure come from? Not everyone wants to live in unfamiliar territory. Most people would take stability over adventure if it were offered to them. I have often wondered why I am so different from the rest of my family in this way. That is not to say my family doesn't have dreams. They do, but mine have always been so much different from theirs. It seems legitimate to ask where these dreams came from. Most children get their dreams from their parents, but my parents would tell you in an instant that they didn't plant those outrageous dreams in my head. Rather, it is like the dreams were there from the beginning. They were woven into my very being from before I was even born.
When I was fifteen, I embarked on a new adventure that literally changed my life. I am currently on that very same adventure, and it has taken me places I never expected to go. This adventure has taken me to slums in Haiti, hospitals in Guatemala, the inner-city of Chicago, and many other places as well. And while the adventure has taken me to some amazing places, the destinations aren't really what the adventure is all about. Instead, this adventure is mostly about the journey, and the only destination I really care about is the final one. I'll now stop speaking so cryptically and explain this grand adventure I've been on for the last four years.
I am following in the footsteps of the only wise King. It is truly a grand adventure to take Jesus at His word and actually do what He asks. The path of following Jesus gets rocky at times, but that just adds to the adventure. No matter how scary the task or how impassible the road may seem, my King has always made a way for me. He has been faithful even when I have been faithless. He has proven His love for me again and again.
And all the while, my thirst for adventure has remained. The different stops I have made on my journey walking with Christ have all been quite thrilling, but the final stop on my ticket is a better country than any I have visited thus far. I am looking forward to something better than this earth. That is why I am willing to go anywhere the Lord takes me- even if it's dangerous. God created me from birth to go and do great things for Him. He knew about this grand adventure even before I did.
So if you ever think I'm crazy for wanting to go to unwelcoming places with an unwelcome message, then just remember that I'm not doing it for myself. If I were going into Christian Missions for the sake of my own comfort and happiness, I would probably return to my home whenever the going got rough. But because I am longing for a better country, I will not let hardship or fear or discomfort keep me from spreading the fame of my King. Speaking about the saints of old, the author of Hebrews makes a point more eloquently than I:
"If they had been thinking of the country they had left, they would have had opportunity to return. Instead, they were longing for a better country—a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them" (Hebrews 11:15-17).
Friday, April 27, 2012
Take my Lips and Let them Be
Those who are familiar with the Christian hymn "Take my Life and Let it Be" might know the phrase that follows the title of this post. It comes from the third verse which reads:
Take my voice and let me sing,
Always, only for my King.
Take my lips and let them be
Filled with messages from Thee.
Lately I've been considering the power of words. Words can heal or harm. They can fight or make peace. They can pour out love or hatred. And as I considered these things, I reflected on the way I have used words in the past and how I use them presently. I'm ashamed to admit that I have often intentionally used words to hurt people. Whenever I was angry or upset at someone, I always seemed to know the words that would cut the deepest. I realize now that it is not too late to ask for forgiveness, so that will happen in the very near future. Presently, I have found that social media venues like Facebook, blogging, etc. present daily opportunities to use words for good or for evil. For example, you can post complaints, controversial opinions, quotes, song lyrics, photos, videos, slams at individuals who remain unnamed, and I'm sure many other things. As I considered this, I realized that what I say on these social media venues is of extreme importance. I am an ambassador of Christ. My King has called me and every other person who calls upon His name to be His representatives to the world (2 Cor. 5:20).Therefore, when I post or blog, I should write praises instead of complaints. I should build up instead of tear down. I should speak truth and not lies.
In other words, my lips should be filled with messages from God. That is not to say that I should incessantly quote Bible verses or only talk about spiritual things. Rather, I believe that to have lips filled with messages from God means to always speak words that honor God. An ambassador would never intentionally say anything to make his country look bad. In the same way, I don't want anything I say to give a poor reflection of the God I serve. In light of all this, I'm afraid I must confess that I have failed miserably in this area.
Sometimes it is really difficult for me to discern when it is appropriate to say something and when it is better to keep my mouth closed. This happens most often in everyday conversation. However, recently I have noticed that the real temptation occurs over social media venues. I knew from the get-go that posting something very controversial is a pretty cowardly way to present one's case. I mean think about it. I can post something that I know lots of people are going to disagree with, but its okay because I am hiding behind a computer screen! If people disagree with me, they will say something. But I may never have to see them, so it doesn't matter! Now I'm not saying people shouldn't have strong opinions. They should! There are far more effective ways to advocate a point, but they demand courage. Now as I'm writing this, I'm remembering that there are some instances when posting something controversial can be done in a good way. However, the only way this can be a good thing is if the statement being made is presented out of love and does not make its point through degrading the people who hold a different view.
To sum it all up, I know I haven't done the best job at always speaking words that honor God. Fortunately, God can redeem my lips. The lyrics of the hymn I posted are not just words to a song. They are a prayer. And it is my prayer that God will take my voice and let me sing for my King. It is my prayer that He will fill my lips with messages from Him.
Take my voice and let me sing,
Always, only for my King.
Take my lips and let them be
Filled with messages from Thee.
Lately I've been considering the power of words. Words can heal or harm. They can fight or make peace. They can pour out love or hatred. And as I considered these things, I reflected on the way I have used words in the past and how I use them presently. I'm ashamed to admit that I have often intentionally used words to hurt people. Whenever I was angry or upset at someone, I always seemed to know the words that would cut the deepest. I realize now that it is not too late to ask for forgiveness, so that will happen in the very near future. Presently, I have found that social media venues like Facebook, blogging, etc. present daily opportunities to use words for good or for evil. For example, you can post complaints, controversial opinions, quotes, song lyrics, photos, videos, slams at individuals who remain unnamed, and I'm sure many other things. As I considered this, I realized that what I say on these social media venues is of extreme importance. I am an ambassador of Christ. My King has called me and every other person who calls upon His name to be His representatives to the world (2 Cor. 5:20).Therefore, when I post or blog, I should write praises instead of complaints. I should build up instead of tear down. I should speak truth and not lies.
In other words, my lips should be filled with messages from God. That is not to say that I should incessantly quote Bible verses or only talk about spiritual things. Rather, I believe that to have lips filled with messages from God means to always speak words that honor God. An ambassador would never intentionally say anything to make his country look bad. In the same way, I don't want anything I say to give a poor reflection of the God I serve. In light of all this, I'm afraid I must confess that I have failed miserably in this area.
Sometimes it is really difficult for me to discern when it is appropriate to say something and when it is better to keep my mouth closed. This happens most often in everyday conversation. However, recently I have noticed that the real temptation occurs over social media venues. I knew from the get-go that posting something very controversial is a pretty cowardly way to present one's case. I mean think about it. I can post something that I know lots of people are going to disagree with, but its okay because I am hiding behind a computer screen! If people disagree with me, they will say something. But I may never have to see them, so it doesn't matter! Now I'm not saying people shouldn't have strong opinions. They should! There are far more effective ways to advocate a point, but they demand courage. Now as I'm writing this, I'm remembering that there are some instances when posting something controversial can be done in a good way. However, the only way this can be a good thing is if the statement being made is presented out of love and does not make its point through degrading the people who hold a different view.
To sum it all up, I know I haven't done the best job at always speaking words that honor God. Fortunately, God can redeem my lips. The lyrics of the hymn I posted are not just words to a song. They are a prayer. And it is my prayer that God will take my voice and let me sing for my King. It is my prayer that He will fill my lips with messages from Him.
Friday, March 16, 2012
Spring Break, Sunshine, and lots of Singing
Spending two weeks with forty college-aged women isn't something that has ever been on my list of things to do before I die. However, that is precisely how I am spending my first spring break as a college student. Along with many students from around the country, I have been able to hit a couple of beautiful Florida beaches on my break from classes and homework. But my spring break is very different than that of the typical college student. This is my first time serving as a part of a traveling Christian music ministry. I have used school breaks to go on missions trips and work on local service projects, but I have never thought that performing music could be a legitimate form of Christian service. I am glad to say that I have now experienced otherwise.
I have been in my school choirs from the seventh grade through senior year. Looking back on that experience, I remember emotions ranging from joy to regret and even deep sadness. I loved performing in concerts and the community of friends the most. I often auditioned for solos, and I even got to sing my first ever duet with my sister in senior year. However, I was also very competitive about choir. I competed in contests and auditioned for the chamber choir. Sometimes I did well, but other times I failed to meet the standard. Hindsight has taught me how foolish of me it was to cry so many tears over not making the cut in chamber choir. All those tears and all that resentment are indicative of what my heart really treasured at that time. I desired to be recognized for my talents. I wanted to be grouped with "the best". I sinfully wanted all the glory for myself. And when I didn't get the praise and affirmation I wanted, I was devastated. I'm not exactly sure what made me join the Women's Choir at Moody. Maybe I was trying to redeem my failure of making the high school chamber choir. Maybe I just wanted to have another activity. More than likely, however, God wanted to teach me some lessons about what it means to find satisfaction in giving Him the glory instead of treasuring it for myself.
My experiences in the MBI Women's Concert Choir have taught me what it really means to sing for the glory of God. Unlike my high school choirs, all of the music we perform declares a part of the gospel, if not the whole thing! This alone has been an amazing discovery of a new way to worship. I don't mean to say that musical worship must be perfect in its presentation, but I do believe that truly beautiful music can be very God-honoring. The essential lesson I have learned through being a member of WCC is that I have to give up any desire for personal glory if I want to truly give God the glory in my singing.
Being on tour is exhausting. Traveling by bus for hours every day, staying at different host homes every night, and singing with full voice for hours are taxing on my body and soul. Temptations don't stop on spring break either. The decisions of how to spend my time on long bus rides, the patience required when interacting with host families, and the desire to give a 50% performance in a concert all represent the kinds of temptations I have encountered on tour. Furthermore, it is very easy to be selfish when you have 39 other young women each defending her own highest comfort- myself included. If that sounds difficult, then I accurately described the difficulty of a two-week long choir tour. However, if you have ever been involved in any kind of ministry, you know that difficulty is always present. Mission trips are always exhausting, composing sermons is difficult, meeting physical and spiritual needs is taxing, and those are just a few areas of ministry. Fortunately, the joy that is the result of fruitful ministry is worth every moment of difficulty.
Performing in choir concerts has given me great joy as God has been teaching how to perform for Him. Our director has taught us the importance of being ladies who possess poise and grace. Hearing the stories of God's faithfulness in the lives of believers all around the country through host homes has been amazing. We have also learned how to minister to and be ministered by the church. However, the most significant blessing of this tour has been the realization that I can enjoy singing and being in a choir without the competitive, self-serving attitude I had in high school. I don't feel compelled to be the best, so long as I am giving my best for Jesus. I won't fight for any glory but the glory of my King. Choir has enabled me to learn yet another way to fulfill the command, "So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God" (1 Corinthians 10:31).
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